First Off

order = chaos

Reality operates under a fiercely ordered set of maths and sciences which, even when we can't sufficiently describe them, are observable in their perfect static. A belief in miracles could be allowed or even encouraged if asynchronous phenomena were observed with any degree of veracity (beyond the basic miracle that it exists in the first place, and continues, inexorably, without fucking up, unlike human endeavor.)

And so it is left to humanity (and, er, vogonity) to sow chaos into order, to the extent that we are able to subvert biology and physics, for good or ill. And yet for all of our hubris, nothing we've accomplished measures to fuck-all against the scope of this universe, let alone any cosmology allowing for the possibility of (infinite) multiple universes.

I don't like it at all.

Assuming a sentient intelligence existing in the fifth dimension (which is to say that we exist in the fourth dimension, time, unable to affect it in the manner of the other, 'lower' dimensions), we would still be incapable of recognizing it as such, being limited as we are in our fourth dimensional existence (you've read Flatland, right?). We would readily, and perhaps somewhat justly, nominate such a thing as a god, regardless of alignment or intent. Even the most warlike and misogynistic, egregiously shitheaded example of fifth dimension life could seem as a god to those of us with lowly, fourth-dimensional senses. (Faith as Stockholm syndrome: yeah, the pain and death and assrape has gotten old, but he keeps telling me he loves me and anyway, it'll all be over soon.)

And so it is left to we criminals and rudeboys and -girls to proselytize in favor of the known, the human, the fourth- dimensional base and debauched matter, the very stuffs of which we are made; to learn our country and its attendant exegeses, to know Spaceland and Flatland as thoroughly as possible, to know our universe, its constituents, and any fellow inhabitants of the fourth dimension, lest we go traipsing into (apologies to Joe Casey) Godland gullible and weak-willed, ignorant, and easily over-awed.

the vibrations are getting closer.

Enlightenment acheived through chemistry is still valid. All enlightenment is simply short-cut/ short-circuit.

Valid, but possibly much more difficult to bring the sermon back from the mount.

I make it a habit to attempt to close off reality tunnels that I don't like. Simply calling them to mind in as much detail as I can muster seems to do the trick nicely, more often than not. High potency euphorics make the process a bit faster, machine-gunning 'useless' reality tunnels with videogame cheat code efficiency.

Recently, on a Messianic trip that was over the top even in comparison to my usual Lex-up trips, with outmoded ideas and ideals melting out of my brainstuff like there's a hole in the dike (and there's no hope for anyone attempting to Dutch-boy my ass). I had a moment, and goodness knows I'll be lucky not to end up all Beautiful Mind fucked up trying to get it back. I'm losing my I. This one is starting to have trouble defining singular experience as non-universal. And yet, most of what this one perceives in other a is a disconnected experience, that this one finds difficult to associate, assimilate, or alleviate. The concept of combative meme-plexes gathers more currency as the attempt to create a plex that is holistic and positive is met with the equal and opposite drive toward another plex whose makeup is much more isolated and self-serving.

Omnijectivity. "Reality is neither objective nor subjective, it's omnijective."

This one nominates a new plex. One which, by it's very nature, seems inescapable.

The Briar Patch.

We're all just trying to get fly. Seriously.

don't just tag along, start a war if you want to

Quit fucking whining and start winning. Yeah it's trite but it's my mantra. It's my fucking pipe and I'm smoking it.

I don't believe in your institutions

...and I've got a little surprise for you. We have become Death, destroyer of worlds, and we looked upon our creation, and saw that it was good.

And.

We.

Burn.

Final Fantasy II Final Fantasy III

Ian Quinn: Why is your medium of choice comics?

Chip Zdarsky: Because I'm relentlessly horny, and comics can be worked on throughout the night, alone. And once in a while you'll need some reference material so you'll just HAVE to go the InterNet, just for a sec, and that "sec" turns into three beautiful, moist minutes.

iq: Do you have a social agenda in your work?

Cz: Yes, thank you for asking.

iq: What level of fame do we (your fans) need to take you to in order to ensure both a comfortable life for you and a steady stream of new, quality work for us?

Cz: High? A high level of fame? I'd like that.

iq: To whom would ye give no quarter?

Cz: The stupidest people I've ever known could still end up being art directors, so to answer your question, I would give quarters to everyone because you never know who is holding the rest of the quarters you so desperately need to play Strider.

iq: What are you, personally, looking forward to doing in your work?

Cz: Something printed in colour, actually, I'm sure you were expecting some smartass answer, but there you have it. Colour. I just want to keep drawing, I'm stupidly lucky in that people pay me to draw and write and colour, so I just hope that continues until I'm dead. People keep telling me that I can live on in my work, but I'm not sure if I believe or understand that. Cause Charles Schulz is still not returning my calls. Love, Chip!

You really should check out Prison Funnies, Chip's website. You should really check out the The Act_I_Vate webcomic blog to see Chip's excellent Zdarskyverse strips, as well as several [many! -ed] other quality strips. Stalk Chip on his livejournal. Chip will be in Austin for the Dragon's Lair 20th Anniversary, August 25th-27th.

--ian That's a fine piece you got there, buddy-boy. Mmmm, a gun like this ain't just for playin' kissy with.

http://www.pinktentacle.com/2006/07/gallery-of-fantastic-creatures/

Found on boingboing.

I really want my own fantastic creature to put on a shelf somewhere...

--Ian

X-Posted to Designated Sidekick

"For example, if you were offered a shot at being in the Teen Titans, why would you take it? The level of death, pain, insanity, torture by demon/alien, loss of loved ones, loss of team mates and the rest that goes with the membership card would have to have you say "Sorry, Suicide Squad has better working conditions"." Quote the Designated Sidekick

Even with the added risk, an offer to join the Titans (or the JLA, or the Avengers, etc.) is like getting drafted to the NFL. Sure, there's a high chance that you could sustain massive, life-threating, crippling, even fatal injuries, but damn, it's the NFL.

Same idea applies, I think. I hope I'm not being overly simplistic here, but I think even within the DCU and Marvel U, there is an urge in the younger/ less popular/ less powerful superheroes to want to play with the 'big boys,' and this has even been written enough times to prove true. (To great effect, I thought, by Grant Morrison in his JLA run, where..um, Kyle Rayner, maybe? is talking about being in the presence of near-gods. feel free to correct me on this one... i know for sure it's JLA, at least. I believe Spidey does a similar thing in the New Avengers title.)

Now really, to get to the heart of it, writers on the big universe books tend to suck. Even when they have great bodies of work outside the big two, they just phone it in, or are forced to do shoehorn work with editorial mandates, or any number of things influenced by ego and the newest summer blockbuster, writing for these licensed-content-generators can't be a terribly rewarding experience. Characters get killed, rebirthed, recharged, crisis-ed of the infinite or identity varieties, etc. etc. ad-freakin-nauseum. It's easy to fill a few pages of paying work with the death of one shmuck or another. If it boosts sales and leads to a few more bucks in your pocket, great. If people get pissed off and start screaming your name from rooftops or message boards, they just need to remember to spell your name right.

So why do we keep buying this crap?

a)Because *we* want to play with the big boys. Through all of this BS, somehow, Batman is still -cool-. Spider-Man could be written to be a furry with a particular fetish for Aunt May in a Snoopy costume, but that's not going to change how great Spider-Man...wait, that might actually do it...

The idea of Spider-Man will remain great. "With great power comesyaddayaddayadda" and all that jazz, there are some amazingly fantastic stories out there starring your friendly neighborhood sad-sack, whether or not another good one ever gets made. The moral to this, I think, is that continuity isn't actually that big a deal. The best stories almost all stem from a revamp, reboot, or retelling these days. Who cares if you miss a few months years decades, if nothing substantial actually happens?  Which brings me to...

b)...is a little trickier. b) is your comics geek self-loathing that says it's better to put up with a little crap just so that you can keep having your new crap the week it comes out...and besides, it's bound to get better soon(er or later), and it'd be lame to have a *gasp* gap in your collection run, cuz y'know one day Nightwing #134-147 are going to totally put the little one through grad school... keep in mind, anything that DC or Marvel put a TM or circle-R to are the equivalent of Britney Spears and Avril Lavigne. Superman sells Pepsi... end of fucking story. Especially at the level that books are selling these days, fans are essentially worthless to anyone up the ladder in Marvel or DC. What's your $3 worth when the movie is worth $300,000,000?

So, once you've gotten over b), you take another look at a) and start buying collections wisely, only proven material. Who needs to spend $3 a month for a 10-minute decompressed sexist racist anti-intellectual lightboxed-from-a-porno 'read?'

Not me, not any-fucking-more.

Comics should be good, but they're often not.  It seems that when it comes to human artistic endeavour, there's always a need to seperate wheat from chaff.  Hopefully one day they'll stop giving jobs to the guys who suck, and keep giving them to the ones who rock.  Ones who rock being, by definition, ones who aren't sexist, racist homophobes, and don't resort to easy outs or cheap tragedy to keep the drama level up. Y'know, good writers...

I still read a few big-2 heroes, and am inclined to pick up new ones, too. The great thing about the small market is the freedom it brings. Brubaker's run on Captain America has been amazing to me so far, and I've -never- been a Cap fan before. Gail Simone has me pretty hooked to Birds of Prey, I love Peter David's X-Factor, and am looking forward to Vaughn's Dr. Strange and Brubaker's X-Men, and Morrison's Batman...
--Ian

So, here's how it works:
myspace meme that I found particularly interesting...  and I just like my funny results, though I could use a much better fight theme.

Open your music player (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, etc).
Put it on shuffle.
Press play.
For every question type the song that's playing.
When you go to a new question press the next button.
Some songs fit perfectly.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Opening Credits: "Blue Lights" - Pretty Girls Make Graves

Waking Up: "Offend in Every Way" - The White Stripes

Falling in Love: "Miss Elaine" - Run D.M.C. (snort!)

Fight scene: "Laid" - James (HAHAHAHAHA!)

Breaking up: "Heel on the Shovel" - 16 Horsepower

Getting back together: "Return to the City of the Dead" - Powerman 5000 (0_0)

Secret Love: "My Vagina" - NOFX

Life's okay: "Join the Dots" - Queen Adreena

Mental breakdown: "Please Hold" - Enon

Driving Flashback: "Tobacco Road" - Albert Collins, James Cotton, Junior Wells (weird...)

Partying: "The Doodler" - Turing Machine

Happy dance: "P.L.U.C.K." - System of a Down (hahaha)

Regretting: "Getting Smaller" - nine inch nails (neat!)

Long night alone: "Give Up... And Move On" - Oneida (Ha!)

Final Battle: "Attack" - System of a Down (YEAH! okay, so this wasn't the first thing that came up... but the others were intro tracks that made absolutely no sense)

Death Scene: "Porno Disaster" - The Octopus Project (hahahaha)

so, in my movie I'm... a homicidal (possibly hermaphrodite) southern porn star.

i think this sounds cool enough to burn. so if any of you want a copy, just ask.

--Ian

Here's the titles and Diamond codes for the books I'm looking forward to this week:

APR060057V OLD BOY VOL 1 TP (C: 1-1-2) $12.95 DAR
Love the movie, haven't read the fanscans of this yet.  Looks good, though.

MAR060384D FABLES VOL 7 ARABIAN NIGHTS AND DAYS TP (MR) $14.99 DC
Woohoo! A storyline I haven't already read...  This book keeps getting better, for me anyway.  I hope the trend continues.

APR060282D TOP 10 BEYOND THE FARTHEST PRECINCT TP $14.99 DC
Hooray for more Top 10.

MAY062007D UNCANNY X-MEN #475 $2.99 MAR
Ed Brubaker starts his run on Uncanny.  I'm thinking yes.  Could be great...

APR063443E RUROUNI KENSHIN VOL 28 TP (C: 1-0-0) $7.95 VIZ
Woot, the last volume of Kenshin!  I'll be happy to have this series complete...  So, so great.

APR063014H FLIGHT VOL 3 GN (C: 0-1-2) $24.95 RAN
ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY BRILLIANT!  I lurve Flight 1, Flight 2 was even better (and bigger!), so I hope Flight 3 will be simply amazing.  The first two were everything an anthology should be.

MAY063379F JAMES BOND MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN SC (NOV035064) (C: 0-1-2) $16.95 DIA
MAY063380F JAMES BOND SPY WHO LOVED ME TP (C: 0-1-2) $17.95 DIA
I know nothing about these, but they might be worth a look...

MAY062758F LICENSABLE BEAR #3 $3.50 ABO
Hooray for Licensable Bear!  We should all be wearing Licensable Bear merch.  Somewhoreone should license some, or something.

DEC053005F MONOLOGUES FOR THE COMING PLAGUE SC $18.95 FAN
This has me almost by title alone...  a quick google gets...  "Monologues for the Coming Plague is the longest and most ambitious work to date by Anders Nilsen...Taking a cue from the school of Automatic Writing, an aesthetic mode championed by Andre Breton at the beginning of the 19th century that became the foundation of the Surrealist Movement, Nilsen began work on Monologues for the Coming Plague. The process is born out of a stream of consciousness followed by limited editing and rearranging. The book ranges playfully from riffs on the gag cartoon to paranoid soliloquies of a surrealistic apocalypse, with references to contemporary politics, pop culture, and religion, plays on language, and sequential abstractions."  [from http://www.fantagraphics.com/recent/bks.html]
Looks like a lot of fun.

MAR063212F THEY FOUND THE CAR $7.95 FAN
Mmm.. more Fantagraphics goodness, this time from Gipi.  "a late-night telephone call about a mysterious car which went missing seven years ago and has now been recovered causes a chain reaction of violence." [from Last Gasp]


I'll try to chime in with notes on any or all of this that I get to pick up, later on.

--Ian

I really hope to god I'm the only person on the planet who hadn't seen Street Trash until a few days ago. Seriously. When I think of all the time I wasted in theatres watching crap like Munich when I could have been watching bums play keep-away with a deliciously realistic severed penis... well, no one likes to admit they've wasted their life, but it may be true.

The plot is so loosely woven that when a random element suddenly displays a little relevance, it's like finding the Easter egg full of coke when all you've gotten so far is off-brand jellybeans. At times it feels like two separate movies vaguely connected through a bum with inexplicably clean and glossy hair whose face is covered in shoe polish. On one hand, we have a liquor store owner uncovering a box of 60-year-old Tenafly Viper, which he decides to sell for $1 a bottle to the local winos. The first guy who drinks it dissolves almost instantly into a fabulous blue, green and yellow puddle in a broken toilet. So the Viper is the villain, right? This is a movie about deadly hooch taking out the downtrodden.

Not exactly. On the other hand, we have an emotionally disturbed Vietnam vet with a knife carved from a human femur terrorizing the junkyard over which he prevails. He's the more immediate danger to the protaganist, his kid brother, and their hovel mate, because although the shiny-haired Fred keeps stealing/buying bottles of Viper, he never manages a sip before some other bum comes along and takes them.

As far as plot goes, the rest is pretty inconsequential. Some bums die at the hands of the Bum King, others get ahold of a bottle of Viper. The important thing is that whenever someone dies, it's really gross. There are people melting, exploding, being decapitated, losing penises left and right.... there's a creepy almost-sex-scene between the she-mulletted secretary at the junkyard and Fred's kid brother, a creepier actual sex scene with Fred and a mobster's vomitting girlfriend, there's chicken in people's pants... for the life of me I can't figure out how this movie hasn't replaced It's a Wonderful Life in the holiday rota yet.

Ultimately, the two plots do wander into each other for a gloriously gory finale that's now firmly in my top 10 movie deaths of all time. I'm not speaking to you again until you watch this movie.

The following are brief descriptions I wrote to accompany the selections on my favorites shelf at work:

If you haven’t tried Girls, it probably isn’t what you expect. It’s an eerie, creative Sci-Fi story with a mean cliffhanger at the end of the first trade. The writing and art are both excellent and there really is a reason the girls are (tastefully) naked.

Help Xoo! Read Seaguy! Like most of Grant Morrison’s work, Seaguy defies simple description. It could be seen as a treatise against Disney that takes place in my own personal psycho-hell, but that doesn’t give enough credit to the billions of subtleties at play.

Here’s what Morrison has to say:

“As the story progressed and took on a life of its own, it soon became clear that it was really about the 'big brothering' of society, omnipresent surveillance and global disinformation. It’s about the dumbing down of culture, the creation of capitalist 'comfort zones' in the midst of social decay, about a world tranquillized and satisfied and quite unaware of the dark glue that holds it all together. …and talking tuna fish.”

Yeah, that’s right, Evil Ernie in Santa Feis one of my favorites and I’m not being ironic. It’s funny, Evil Ernie is actually a pretty sympathetic character (you can’t truly hate someone who was mercilessly abused by his parents as a child and ended up forming a deep psychic connection to Lady Death due to the mistakes of a well-meaning doctor), the art is delightfully gruesome, and really, who doesn’t want to see those Santa Fe schmucks get what’s coming to them?

Here it is. The whole reason I decided to sell comics instead of joining the merchant marine. As you read Transmet (and you will), keep in mind that it was written by an Englishman and began well before September 11, 2001. Also, if you’re not enraptured by the first volume, please give the second one a chance. The first arc is mainly character exposition and I assure you Spider Jerusalem is more than the Hunter S. Thompson caricature some people perceive in the first volume.

Ah, The Invisibles. I won’t lie to you. There’s a good chance you’ll hate this book, or at least that you’ll find it confusing and overwrought. You may have to study it to fully appreciate it. You may also have to approach the story from the point of view of an angry teenager and just go with it. If you’re not afraid to put a little work into your reading enjoyment, though, I promise it’s worth it.

DMZ is like a counterpoint to Ex Machina (see Taj’s shelf). Set in a very near future in which domestic unrest has turned the US into a war zone, it follows an intern photojournalist who crash lands in the Manhattan demilitarized zone on his first mission. He quickly sees a truth that hasn’t been shared with the American people and sets out to tell the story while continuing to live in the DMZ.

Who hasn’t wanted to kill their ugly, creepy children and abusive husband and take on a mission of enlightenment through violence at the prompting of a 50s TV character? Come on, be honest. (this refers to The Milkman Murders)

Do I really have to explain the innate refulgence of anything entitled R. Crumb’s Kafka? This is a Kafka biography peppered with R. Crumb’s illustrations of text from several Kafka stories to help illuminate both Kafka’s writing and life.

Local is a rare book that anyone can jump into at any point. Each story takes place in a different city with (mostly) different characters at a different point in time and is self-contained. The gimmick is that each city is realistically represented in the artwork, but even without that point of interest the stories are unique and the art is engaging.

A Trip to Rundberg is a deliciously depressing tale of zombies chasing rednecks from Austin’s own Nate Southard. The book is treated as an action story rather than a horror story, so the pace is much faster than many zombie books, while still chock full of brain-eating fun.

A man in a suit hands you a gun, a photograph, and 100 untraceable bullets, then invites you to exact revenge on the person who ruined your life at no risk to you. But why? What’s in it for him? Who does he work for? Who does he work against? What do you do? (this refers to 100 Bullets)

I refuse to justify vampire pirates. Just buy the book. (Sea of Red)

Shaolin Cowboy features a silent title character, his acerbically verbose mule, and lots of blood and guts.

I’ll spare you any “a picture is worth a thousand words” wankery. Nat Turner is a virtually text-free Kyle Baker book about… well, Nat Turner. You remember Nat. He led the 1831 Virginia Slave Rebellion. But even if you fell asleep that day in US History the story is clear and compelling.

Banana Sunday is cute. I can’t like cute stuff? It has to be all government conspiracies and death and destruction and social decay? Screw you guys. It’s got cute teenage girls, talking monkeys and apes, and enough mystery and conflict to keep it interesting, while still being enjoyable for all ages.

If you haven’t read V for Vendetta, you need to do so before the movie comes out in March and ruins it. If you have, reread it before the movie comes out in March and ruins it. It’s a classic Alan Moore story of Thatcher’s Britain run amok that will strike a chord with most Americans today.

Why do I even feel bad when I have to tell people their investment comics aren't worth shit? This time it was some guy with a copy of Silver Surfer #50 with an embossed cover. It's worth about $6, which is $4.50 more than he payed for it in 1991, but of course he was expecting it to at least be in double if not triple digits, I'm sure.

"Why did I hold onto it for so long if it's worthless?" he asked me.

"Because you love Silver Surfer? The art and the story give you pleasure?" I suggested.

"I never read the fucking thing."

Of course I knew he hadn't and my point was lost on him. The first few times this happened it was little old ladies hoping to sell their sons' comics and I was sincerely sorry to tell them they were worth a couple of dollars each and there was nothing I was currently buying. After talking to this guy for a few minutes, though, I actually took pleasure in giving him the bad news and had hoped to discover that he'd payed more than $6 for it originally, but that wasn't the case. It was a gift from his grandmother, it turns out.